Happy Monday! Look at me all on time today!
For starters, this #MondayinWonderland is stolen from a lyric
from one of my favorite bands, Walk the Moon. This also happened to be my
favorite doodle that I’ve done so far, so the vibes right now are good!
While jamming out to the song and creating the free downloadable above (cough cough), I got a little introspective. I mean, it’s
only natural when you are slightly sleep deprived and resonating with the “poppy,
art-rock” vibe of this song! (Thanks, Google, for the words I didn’t know
described this.) Now this is NOT my passive aggressive way of calling out
anyone in particular. Instead, this got me thinking about the preventable sources
of negativity in my life, one of which being an environment I recently left
behind—high school.
For the past four years, I was constantly in competition
with myself and others. This applied to the ridiculousness of GPA’s (they were
crazy-competitive), my desires to be accepted into social groups, and even my
safe haven from it all—band. I loved band and it was my family, but the stakes
were and always will be high. It’s part of being a member of a successful
group. And while I loved it (still do) and am so grateful for the hard work it
inspired within me, I often pushed myself too hard or remained blind to any
progress I was making. There were times that the overall environment and the
voices in my head were completely toxic to me. I brought so much stress and
sadness upon myself by trying to be perfect and please everyone else. And I can
also admit that some of that toxic mentality follows me even now I've left that environment behind.
The difference now is that a lot of what I’m facing is
new. And as my first college semester winds along I need to keep in mind that I
am the one who determines my attitude. I determine how much people’s opinions
matter to me and have the freedom to nurture the relationships and hobbies that
matter to me. (And now, and A is an A, so no more stress between a 90 and a
105! Yes, it was that crazy.) I now have the opportunity to grow my current friendships
and make new ones that push me towards joy rather than trying to impress people
who wouldn’t be the friends I need anyway.
The experience of being somewhere new and in the midst of
something new is revitalizing. I don’t have to be anyone else and I don’t have
to let frivolous things drag me down. I’ll be rocking out to this song for the
next few months and I’m going to try to not let the little stuff affect me. I
mean, yeah, I’m going to feel like I fail at times, because some of that perfectionism
becomes ingrained.
But every moment I can choose to work towards becoming more of the
happy person I want to be. I’m moving toward the career of my dreams, can see
the beautiful expanse of the undetermined future before me, and have the luxury
of time, so it’s okay if I mess up a little.
I know it’s not the same for everyone. I’m at a very
blessed and flexible time in my life. Despite that, I would bet that much of the
same goes for you. No matter if you are in the midst of high school itself, a college
newbie, about to graduate, or in your job for years already, every second of
your life you have the opportunity to recognize what lifts you up and what
brings you down (or maybe who). You have your whole future ahead of you, so hold
on to those things that inspire you and throw off the rest. You deserve it. You
deserve to be joyful.
On a lighter note, you also deserve to jam out to the
song that inspired this post. Have an awesome week!
Stay lovely,
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