Monday In Wonderland: Down in the Dumps

Happy Monday! Look at me all on time today!

For starters, this #MondayinWonderland is stolen from a lyric from one of my favorite bands, Walk the Moon. This also happened to be my favorite doodle that I’ve done so far, so the vibes right now are good!

While jamming out to the song and creating the free downloadable above (cough cough), I got a little introspective. I mean, it’s only natural when you are slightly sleep deprived and resonating with the “poppy, art-rock” vibe of this song! (Thanks, Google, for the words I didn’t know described this.) Now this is NOT my passive aggressive way of calling out anyone in particular. Instead, this got me thinking about the preventable sources of negativity in my life, one of which being an environment I recently left behind—high school.

For the past four years, I was constantly in competition with myself and others. This applied to the ridiculousness of GPA’s (they were crazy-competitive), my desires to be accepted into social groups, and even my safe haven from it all—band. I loved band and it was my family, but the stakes were and always will be high. It’s part of being a member of a successful group. And while I loved it (still do) and am so grateful for the hard work it inspired within me, I often pushed myself too hard or remained blind to any progress I was making. There were times that the overall environment and the voices in my head were completely toxic to me. I brought so much stress and sadness upon myself by trying to be perfect and please everyone else. And I can also admit that some of that toxic mentality follows me even now I've left that environment behind.

The difference now is that a lot of what I’m facing is new. And as my first college semester winds along I need to keep in mind that I am the one who determines my attitude. I determine how much people’s opinions matter to me and have the freedom to nurture the relationships and hobbies that matter to me. (And now, and A is an A, so no more stress between a 90 and a 105! Yes, it was that crazy.) I now have the opportunity to grow my current friendships and make new ones that push me towards joy rather than trying to impress people who wouldn’t be the friends I need anyway.

The experience of being somewhere new and in the midst of something new is revitalizing. I don’t have to be anyone else and I don’t have to let frivolous things drag me down. I’ll be rocking out to this song for the next few months and I’m going to try to not let the little stuff affect me. I mean, yeah, I’m going to feel like I fail at times, because some of that perfectionism becomes ingrained.

But every moment I can choose to work towards becoming more of the happy person I want to be. I’m moving toward the career of my dreams, can see the beautiful expanse of the undetermined future before me, and have the luxury of time, so it’s okay if I mess up a little.

I know it’s not the same for everyone. I’m at a very blessed and flexible time in my life. Despite that, I would bet that much of the same goes for you. No matter if you are in the midst of high school itself, a college newbie, about to graduate, or in your job for years already, every second of your life you have the opportunity to recognize what lifts you up and what brings you down (or maybe who). You have your whole future ahead of you, so hold on to those things that inspire you and throw off the rest. You deserve it. You deserve to be joyful.

On a lighter note, you also deserve to jam out to the song that inspired this post. Have an awesome week!

Stay lovely,

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